Living In Fear: A Story of Overcoming Self-Sabotage

Everyone has goals and dreams, yet so many never see them through. Whether we want to land a better job, start our own business or travel there always seems to be something holding us back. The two excuses we always fall back on are time and money. I know from experience, I have used these excuses excessively throughout my life. It took me a very long time to realize how damaging it is to fall back on excuses. Excuses stunt our growth as men and are rooted in low self-esteem and self-doubt. Taking the easy path to avoid fear, rejection, and flat out failure is no way to live your life.

I know how hard it is to put yourself out there, to take a chance, to place yourself out of your comfort zone. I have always been introverted, never really feeling comfortable in social situations. I have had issues with anxiety as well as having bouts of deep depression throughout my life. I’ve wasted so much of my life battling myself, because that’s ultimately what I was doing, self-sabotaging. This self-destructive behavior led to dropping out of college, staying at a job that I loathed for eleven years, and settling for detached toxic relationships. It becomes very easy to fall into the “poor me” trap.

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My moment of clarity came about a year and a half ago. I was going through a stressful divorce with two young children involved and I had sunken to the lowest form of myself, I was barely functioning. I spent a year and a half going to an unfulfilling job for eight hours and coming straight home, only leaving to pick my children up for visits and going to the grocery store once a week. Hell would have been a vacation from my life at that point. I was failing as a man and even worse, I wasn’t being the man that I wanted my children to look up to. It was time for a change.

I began eating right. I began exercising. I turned to family and friends for emotional support. Most importantly, I stopped doubting myself. This newly found confidence led to me entering the dating world again, and for the first time in my life, I had a much higher set of standards.
The real test was when I found myself face to face with the most beautiful woman I had ever set my eyes on. She was classy and well put together. I was nervous and immediately I had racing thoughts of rejection, failure, and humiliation. This beautiful red-head was so far out of my league, she would laugh at me. She would….. No. Not this time. I had worked my ass off to get where I was and I was taking this chance.

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Not only did I get my girl, but I moved in with her and we have an amazing family now. I also landed a great job and I have new goals and dreams. I do have my moments every now and again, I’m not perfect, but I know that life is what you make it. There is no room in an Alpha Male’s life for self-doubt. Whatever your goals, dreams, or hopes are, just remember to take the chances and jump at the opportunities. It’s worth it, I promise.

 

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