Living In Fear: A Story of Overcoming Self-Sabotage
Everyone has goals and dreams, yet so many never see them through. Whether we want to land a better job, start our own business or travel there always seems to be something holding us back. The two excuses we always fall back on are time and money. I know from experience, I have used these excuses excessively throughout my life. It took me a very long time to realize how damaging it is to fall back on excuses. Excuses stunt our growth as men and are rooted in low self-esteem and self-doubt. Taking the easy path to avoid fear, rejection, and flat out failure is no way to live your life.I know how hard it is to put yourself out there, to take a chance, to place yourself out of your comfort zone. I have always been introverted, never really feeling comfortable in social situations. I have had issues with anxiety as well as having bouts of deep depression throughout my life. I’ve wasted so much of my life battling myself, because that’s ultimately what I was doing, self-sabotaging. This self-destructive behavior led to dropping out of college, staying at a job that I loathed for eleven years, and settling for detached toxic relationships. It becomes very easy to fall into the “poor me” trap.
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My moment of clarity came about a year and a half ago. I was going through a stressful divorce with two young children involved and I had sunken to the lowest form of myself, I was barely functioning. I spent a year and a half going to an unfulfilling job for eight hours and coming straight home, only leaving to pick my children up for visits and going to the grocery store once a week. Hell would have been a vacation from my life at that point. I was failing as a man and even worse, I wasn’t being the man that I wanted my children to look up to. It was time for a change.
I began eating right. I began exercising. I turned to family and friends for emotional support. Most importantly, I stopped doubting myself. This newly found confidence led to me entering the dating world again, and for the first time in my life, I had a much higher set of standards.
The real test was when I found myself face to face with the most beautiful woman I had ever set my eyes on. She was classy and well put together. I was nervous and immediately I had racing thoughts of rejection, failure, and humiliation. This beautiful red-head was so far out of my league, she would laugh at me. She would….. No. Not this time. I had worked my ass off to get where I was and I was taking this chance.
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Not only did I get my girl, but I moved in with her and we have an amazing family now. I also landed a great job and I have new goals and dreams. I do have my moments every now and again, I’m not perfect, but I know that life is what you make it. There is no room in an Alpha Male’s life for self-doubt. Whatever your goals, dreams, or hopes are, just remember to take the chances and jump at the opportunities. It’s worth it, I promise.
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One comment
Good read!